I always knew I wanted to be a mum. But as you know well, we have no idea what life has planned for us. We never know how our stories will unfold. Let’s face it, if we knew what was going to happen then life would be very boring.
I never knew I was going to get so lucky. I know that if we had to pick our babies from a supermarket shelf like you would a doll, you would be the one I pick. They say that you shouldn’t be friends with your children until they become adults. ‘Parent first, friend second’ but I’ve always disagreed with this, even with my own Mum (sorry Mum.)
Truthfully though…i could be making a big mistake. We haven’t reached the dreaded teen years yet and maybe my ‘parenting plan’ will horribly backfire then. I freaking hope not (please don’t make Nanna say ‘I told you so’ to me.) We’re close though aren’t we babe? You’re the only person that has kept me strong and kept me going these past 9 years. You truly are my reason for life.
I used to think when I was your age, that I would need a man when I was older to show me what true love feels like and I couldn’t have been more wrong. Before I had you I thought I knew what true love was numerous times, and you will too. I honestly never knew what true love was until you were placed in my arms. Then I knew, I knew that you could never stop me loving you. I knew that everything in my life would revolve around you from that moment on, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
I know as life has quickly progressed in the last 9 years, you’ve had to deal with things no child should have to deal with, and that hurts. Believe me…if I could have a magic finger like Sabrina, or if I had the power of three like Phoebe, Piper and Pru/Paige, then I would use it. Unfortunately Mum can’t do that, no one can, but you will learn to deal with it. You will fight, becoming more resilient than ever and you will adapt to another new way of life, just like you did last year. Last year you thought you couldn’t do it and now look at you.
I’m so proud of you. I’m proud of how you cope with new challenges and deal with change. I’m proud of the little lady you are becoming. I’m proud of the person you are. I always feel a little burst of pride in me when someone compliments me on your manners or kindness. A few times it has happened now and it has always been because of something you’ve said or done when I haven’t been present. I must be doing something right hey?
I’m not the best Mum in the world, I just do my best for you. I make mistakes all the time, and I’m going to keep making mistakes for the rest of your life. That’s what every Mum on the planet does. You’ll be the same one day if you have babies. We have had a tough couple weeks and you’re sleeping now. I came in to check on you and felt the need to write my feelings out. I’ve said how very proud of you I am. So proud to call you my daughter but there’s another thing I need you to know, I love you. I love you so much and that will never end. True love doesn’t have to be a ‘partner’. You are my true love (and you’ll still be my true love in 10 years when you read this.) You’re my beginning, you’re my middle and you’re my end. I love you now, I love you forever and I love you always. Never forget, you’re stronger than you believe, and more than ‘what you achieve!’
All my love. Mum xXxXx
Kimmi’s Qualms Xx
Poem images by Joseph Colombrita IG: Poemsbyjcol Any other images my own.